FREE GUIDE
The Secret Touch
Blueprint
The super simple exercise will help you figure out your favorite ways to be touched and give you an easy way to share them with your partner. Think of it as your unique blueprint for how you love to be touched! And the best part? Even couples who've been together forever are often surprised by each other's answers. You might discover your partner loves something you never thought to try!
hey there!
Vanessa is an Ivy League-educated licensed psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in sex and intimacy.
Xander is her husband, a regular dude who brings the male perspective (and a very good sense of humor about all of this).
Together, we've helped hundreds of thousands of couples have better, more fulfilling sex.
You may have seen us in The New York Times, Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, People, and O, The Oprah Magazine. Or heard us on top podcasts like The Mel Robbins Show, Armchair Expert, and We Can Do Hard Things. Or seen our New York Times Bestselling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life.
We're also a real couple who have spent years exploring, experimenting, and figuring out what makes intimacy feel amazing for BOTH partners. Because great sex isn't about putting on a performance. It's about discovering what makes both of you think, “Ohhh... I want to do *that* again.